Thursday, July 16

3 Wolves Howling at the Moon

Ok this is the most amazing thing I think I've ever seen and every boy should buy this: Here's why:

This shirt is selling like hotcakes (I don't fully agree with this expression... I don't really love pancakes hotcakes... anything that will take away from the room in my belly for bacon and syrup.... But I'll use the phrase anyway because it's catchy and I do what I want) on Amazon.com right now. Like 1000 a day. Nuts, huh? Well, I think it's all because of this crazy influx of customer reviews. It all started with a review done by a man who may possibly be the funniest man on the planet. After reading his review, I want one of these magical shirts. Do NOT tell me that you are not convinced, too, after reading this:

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Amazing, right? I know! Other reviewers have left their funny replies and follow-ups to this, but this one tops them all. LOVE. Some people have gone as far as making a spoof video about this amazing shirt and shirt review. So random!

So who's with me? Let's all get matching wolf shirts!

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UPDATE:

I witnessed this very last weekend, in the flesh, a woman wearing the 3 Wolf Moon shirt. And let me tell you - she absolutely SHOULD have been wearing it. How is this shirt just so amazingly white trash??

2 comments:

Nessa Burt said...

I love it Kate! That is hilarious!!

Sarah said...

That is so so funny! I wish we could be together so I could hear our twin laughs. I love your blog. I read it in hopes that I can stay hip and know about all the cool stuff so I don't become a frumpy lame mom. Are you gonna come to my shower? I don't know how you do things these days with the fam :) but I would love love to see you.

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